Refreshed!

Yesterday after work, it was Maddie and I on our own. Makenna was with her dad again. So I decided to take Maddie on a little walk. She rode in the stroller because she was super tired and grumpy and didn't really feel like going for a walk. But I couldn't be cooped up in that apartment, so off we went.

We ended up walking for about an hour and a half, down all the main streets in Tracy. I couldn't stop! It felt so good to keep going. We walked by our old house, we walked by friends houses...we just kept going. I had alot of time to think on that walk, and boy did I need that. I thought about everything that's going on in my life, and instead of being sad, for the first time in a long time, I was simply thankful. I felt so lucky to be able to walk that far, to have my daughter with me, to have another babygirl that I'll get to spend time with tonight, to have a tiny but safe little apartment to come home to, to have a second (well maybe third lol) chance. It feels good.

We got home and ate dinner, I gave Mad a bath and put her to bed watching the Jonas Brothers :) And I put in a movie I had rented called Rachel Getting Married. I had never heard of it, but it looked kind of appealing to me in the Redbox rental at work, so I decided to give it a try.

I fell asleep within the first 5 or 10 minutes lol, but I woke up to a scene where Kim, the troubled sister, was at a rehab meeting, and she was repeating that familiar prayer, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Oh how that hit my heart! I turned off the movie, said a little prayer, and went to bed happy!

I feel good that I am getting another chance at happiness. That I am ok. That my girls and I are making it through this, and that hopefully we will only be happier in the future. There will be tough times ahead, but oh will there be good amazing wonderful times as well!!! :)

I feel so refreshed :)